1
00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:02,226
I don't know, Marlon.

2
00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:03,296
I'm not much of an actress

3
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,183
but I used to be
kind of a lively dancer.

4
00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:07,176
You know, I finally learnt
how to do the tootsie roll.

5
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,176
Look at this.

6
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,226
♪ Shey ding ♪

7
00:00:09,266 --> 00:00:11,196
♪ Shey ta ding ding shey ding ♪♪

8
00:00:11,233 --> 00:00:15,383
Alright.
Shey-tada-shantey-shantey..

9
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:20,370
Alright, grandma. Your tootsie
got rolled out a long time ago.

10
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,170
Now seriously, grandma, look.

11
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,350
I need this audition tape
to send

12
00:00:23,383 --> 00:00:25,383
to casting directors
as a sample of my work.

13
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,100
Now, please. You just read
those lines and I'll do the acting.

14
00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:31,503
Okay. Ah?

15
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:32,830
You gonna let
my hand fall off?

16
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,176
- No.
- Billy Dee.

17
00:00:33,216 --> 00:00:34,296
- Unh-unh.
- "Lady Sings The Blues."

18
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,173
I can't use this
kind of language.

19
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,180
This is x-rated.

20
00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:38,296
Oh, come on, grandma!

21
00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:40,353
Grandma, this is
what's sellin' nowadays.

22
00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:42,183
That, and big breasts.

23
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:44,266
Well, I'm not
gonna take off my top.

24
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,380
Even for my
favorite grandbaby.

25
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,170
Thank God.

26
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:50,320
Gravity, boop.

27
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,380
Hey, it's okay.

28
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,350
- Oh, baby, you break a leg.
- Ah. Okay, grandma. Muah.

29
00:00:56,383 --> 00:00:58,503
- Good luck.
- Alright, grandma.

30
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,160
Get on up outta my light.
Alright.

31
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:01,370
Get on, get on, go.

32
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,120
[clears throat]
Marlon Williams

33
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,130
acting tape, take one.

34
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,326
Hi, mom.

35
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,370
Crack yourself, [beep],
give me your [beep] money.

36
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,270
That's right. G's up [beep].

37
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:19,120
[beep]...I got a pistol..

38
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,250
'Up in your [beep].'

39
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:22,133
She's the [beep].

40
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,276
And [beep].

41
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:26,156
I [beep].
[beep]..

42
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,200
Marlon! Marlon..

43
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:31,163
- Have you lost your mind?
- No, grandma, it's for my--

44
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:32,220
Audition or no audition.

45
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:34,280
I'm gonna take you in a
kitchen and wash your nasty mouth.

46
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:36,246
No, grandma, no!
No-o!

47
00:01:36,283 --> 00:01:38,373
[theme song]

48
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,170
♪ We're brothers ♪

49
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,660
♪ We're happy
and we're singin' ♪

50
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:46,330
♪ And we're colored ♪

51
00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:48,120
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

52
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,280
(male
'Alright, cut and print! Beautiful, guys!'

53
00:01:50,316 --> 00:01:51,316
'Dynamite, that is..'

54
00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:53,500
[hip-hop music]

55
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,203
[instrumental music]

56
00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:02,296
I am strong.

57
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,303
I am powerful.

58
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,373
Money is drawn to<i>me</i>

59
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,660
like a magnet.

60
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,230
I am strong.

61
00:02:10,266 --> 00:02:13,826
I am powerful.
Money is drawn to me--

62
00:02:13,116 --> 00:02:15,166
Hope that ain't some of
that old gangsta rap.

63
00:02:16,316 --> 00:02:17,996
Next thing, you know,
you'll be wearin' pants

64
00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:20,150
with your ass hangin' out.

65
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,233
Oh, man. No, pops.

66
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,996
These are just positive
affirmations.

67
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:26,170
See, this book says
the key to success

68
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,660
is positive thinking.

69
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,230
Thinkin' is overrated, son.

70
00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,346
Success come by lettin'
the customer know

71
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:33,173
he is number one.

72
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,220
Excuse me, I think my burger's
burning on the grill.

73
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:39,230
Your arm's not broken.
Flip it yourself.

74
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,120
Look at that..
Why are people so lazy?

75
00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,220
Hey, pop, you know that
the dude that wrote this book

76
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:49,160
made a million dollars
just by using this system?

77
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:50,380
Well, the system is gettin'
suckers like you

78
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,280
to buy the book.

79
00:02:52,316 --> 00:02:55,116
[chuckles]
You.

80
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:57,000
- Hi, son.
- Wassup, pop?

81
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,100
Hey, wassup, Marlon?
How'd the audition go?

82
00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,103
Terrible.

83
00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:01,233
God, I can't get an acting gig

84
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,656
to save my life, man.

85
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,200
Now, I know
how Erik Estrada feels.

86
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,383
Well, actually,
Marlon, Erik Estrada

87
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,130
just landed a
role on "Baywatch."

88
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:11,166
Hey,<i>papito,</i>

89
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,330
[chuckles]

90
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,200
Marlon, I'm telling you,
if you really wanna blow up, kid

91
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:18,003
you gonna have to
start thinking positive.

92
00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:19,100
- Aye.
- I'm tellin' you.

93
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,183
Hey, "Think rich, be rich."

94
00:03:21,216 --> 00:03:24,326
Know what? I'm so desperate
that I'll try anything right now.

95
00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:26,226
You know, I have my
lucky pennies drawers on

96
00:03:26,266 --> 00:03:27,316
for ten days now.

97
00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:29,160
Eww!

98
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,120
Oh, so that's what it is.

99
00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:33,350
I thought Pops
was making devil eggs.

100
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:39,203
Man, maybe I'm just not
cut out to be an actor.

101
00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,253
[scoffs]
Marlon, you wanna know what your problem is?

102
00:03:41,283 --> 00:03:43,333
- What?
- You don't believe in yourself.

103
00:03:43,366 --> 00:03:45,166
If you started walkin'
in those auditions

104
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,280
with a whole
different attitude

105
00:03:46,316 --> 00:03:48,226
I'm tellin' you,
you would be a star.

106
00:03:48,266 --> 00:03:51,166
Shawn, I can't be no
star. Look, I don't have an

107
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,230
Well, I'll be your agent.
I'm gonna represent you.

108
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,316
Man, you ain't no agent.

109
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:57,330
You's a cute black
guy with a goatee.

110
00:03:57,366 --> 00:03:59,146
True, true, true, true.

111
00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:00,333
- But you know what?
- What?

112
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,126
This book right here says

113
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:03,366
"You are what you
think you are."

114
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,250
So, if I think I'm a agent

115
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:07,383
then, baby,
that's what I am.

116
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,100
I'm an agent.

117
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:11,133
You know, you sound
a little sleazy already.

118
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,226
Hey, thanks, kid.
Thanks, babe.

119
00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:15,996
Alright.

120
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,220
Now let's see
what's in the "Variety."

121
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,270
- Alright.
- Ah!

122
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,200
They're casting
for Franco Bertacelli's new film

123
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,663
"The Island Of Dr. Zavius."

124
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,270
Come on, man,
I ain't gonna get that.

125
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,330
That's a big
director, B. What's wrong with

126
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,270
Marlon, you can, if you
believe. I'm tellin' you, man.

127
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,200
Now, repeat after me.

128
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,003
I am a star.

129
00:04:36,183 --> 00:04:38,133
I'm a star.

130
00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,146
Not like that.
Confident.

131
00:04:40,183 --> 00:04:42,183
I am a star.

132
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:43,376
I'm a star.

133
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,380
A lil' less roughneck
into it.

134
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,660
I'm a star!

135
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,280
Dude, I'm a star!

136
00:04:53,116 --> 00:04:54,166
- See, no roughneck.
- I'm te..

137
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,250
Just more confident.
I'm a star.

138
00:04:56,283 --> 00:04:59,283
- I'm a star.
- Yeah, there you go. Feel it!

139
00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:03,496
- I'm a star.
- There you go. That's it!

140
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:04,350
- I'm a star.
- Yeah!

141
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:06,383
That's the way.
Sexy!

142
00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:09,153
Be sexy. Be sexy.

143
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:10,323
- I'm a star.
- Yeah!

144
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,380
- I am a star!
- That's right.

145
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,100
Now you keep thinkin' that way

146
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:15,303
while you scrape this
gum of the ground.

147
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,503
- I'm a star.
- That's right.

148
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:18,280
I'm gonna go over here
and use their system

149
00:05:18,316 --> 00:05:19,376
to get you an audition.

150
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,170
- I'm a star.
- 'Look at you, star.'

151
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,320
- Get that gum off, you star.
- I am a star.

152
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:27,000
- There you go.
- I am a star.

153
00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:28,120
Damn you, gum!

154
00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:30,300
[upbeat music]

155
00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:35,163
Look, Spielberg..

156
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,220
...Marlon is not gonna do
Jurassic Park II, okay?

157
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:42,500
Don't be mad at me 'cause my
client is allergic to animals.

158
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:43,250
Well, then get rid
of the dinosaurs

159
00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:45,663
then call me back, babe.

160
00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:49,366
Shawn, ain't you takin' this
agent thing a little too far?

161
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,120
G, that cellular
phone don't work.

162
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,380
Memo to Marlon.

163
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,000
Shut up, stupid!

164
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,330
Aye, sweet cakes.

165
00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:02,226
Give Frankie a call.
Let him know we're here.

166
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:05,176
I'm sorry, sir, but you're
gonna have to sign in.

167
00:06:05,216 --> 00:06:09,266
Did you say, I'm sorry,
sir, I'm gonna have to sign

168
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:12,100
Oh, can we talk?
Can we talk, huh?

169
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,246
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

170
00:06:17,283 --> 00:06:19,303
My client's name
don't belong on no list

171
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:22,103
with a bunch
of unemployed losers.

172
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,163
No offence,
Forest Whitaker.

173
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,180
I'm sorry, but it's our
policy to have people--

174
00:06:28,216 --> 00:06:30,326
What the hell is this?

175
00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:32,346
[stammering]
It's a tomato.

176
00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:34,273
Ah, yes, and you know
I hate them

177
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,250
so why is one
sitting on my hamburger?

178
00:06:37,283 --> 00:06:38,323
I can take that off
for you, sir.

179
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,170
Oh, no, no, no.

180
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,350
It's already
tainted the patty.

181
00:06:42,383 --> 00:06:47,003
You just throw it away
and get me a new one.

182
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,350
- And who are you?
- Frankie!

183
00:06:50,383 --> 00:06:54,153
Aye, Frankie.
Bro, you don't remember me?

184
00:06:54,183 --> 00:06:57,123
- Uh..
- Oh, come on, bro.

185
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,200
Think back. Me, you and the
other guy did lunch, remember?

186
00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,833
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

187
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,316
Alright, so look here.

188
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:06,100
Read the script. Loved
it. Brilliant piece of

189
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:09,273
Let me introduce you
to my client, Marlon Williams.

190
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,250
Mr. Bertacelli,
i-it is an honor to meet you.

191
00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:15,833
I mean, oh,
I just love your work.

192
00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:17,096
Uh, you should have won
the Academy award

193
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,203
for "Sorority Car Wash."

194
00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:21,123
- Oh.
- Yeah, yeah.

195
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,100
It was good. They robbed you.
They robbed you.

196
00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:25,503
You know, that was
actually kinda early

197
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,000
in my career,
but thank you, thank you.

198
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,130
Oh, man, I mean,
just the cinematography

199
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:30,316
of that shower scene

200
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,100
where you had,
where you had them

201
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:35,333
washing the soapy suds
off each other with water, huh?

202
00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:38,826
- Huh-eh, you were genius.
- Oh.

203
00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:40,656
You were genius.
Yes, you are.

204
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,250
Go with yourself.

205
00:07:41,283 --> 00:07:43,833
- Hey, bro!
- Yeah.

206
00:07:43,116 --> 00:07:46,216
Look here. Normally the
kid wouldn't even audition.

207
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,130
But you know what..

208
00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:49,316
...he like you.

209
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:51,500
You got spunk.

210
00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:56,173
Well, uh,
you are the right type.

211
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,220
I like your
look. Okay, let's

212
00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,220
Oh, man. Word up, G.
I love you. Thank you.

213
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:04,180
- Thank you very much, sir.
- No problem, no-no problem.

214
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:06,156
Thank you, man.
Appreciate that.

215
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:08,200
Whoa!

216
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:11,163
Say, do you-do you
smell doubled eggs?

217
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,500
[instrumental music]

218
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,660
Man, I'll do just
about anything to get this

219
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,150
I can't believe
they ain't called yet, man.

220
00:08:21,183 --> 00:08:23,303
I dunno how much longer these
lucky underwear gonna hold up.

221
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:26,153
[telephone ringing]

222
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,280
Hello.

223
00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:31,226
Oh, yes!
This is the Williams Agency.

224
00:08:31,266 --> 00:08:33,116
God, it's them.
It's them, it's them.

225
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:36,100
'Just a minute.
Just a minute.'

226
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:37,373
- Okay.
- Okay.

227
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,100
- Okay.
- Stop. Stop acting desperate.

228
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,203
- Just tell him I said hi--
- Stop acting desperate.

229
00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:42,283
Okay, alright,
alright.

230
00:08:42,316 --> 00:08:45,196
Hello. Yes,
this is Mr. Williams.

231
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,223
What can I do for you?

232
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,370
Oh, he got the part.

233
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,150
I'm a star, I'm a star!
Oh, God, I'm a star!

234
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:56,350
Well, uh, not so
fast, there, bucko.

235
00:08:56,383 --> 00:08:58,353
See my client
has a few conditions.

236
00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:01,333
No, I don't. Negro, I'll do it
for a Big Mac, no pickle.

237
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,270
Will you stop it?

238
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,150
Condition number one,
he's gonna need a limo driver.

239
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,833
And he's gonna need
a muffin basket.

240
00:09:11,116 --> 00:09:13,656
Yeah, that's
right. I said muffin

241
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,230
You heard me.

242
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:17,496
And he's gonna need
a king-size bag

243
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:18,380
of Green MandM's.

244
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,120
Alright, then. Fine, fine.

245
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,160
We'll discuss the
perks after the money.

246
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,330
- Yes.
- Five thousand dollars?

247
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:25,380
Take it! Take it!
Boy, you better take it.

248
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,120
Are you crazy? Hey, Spike
Lee movies pay more than that.

249
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,350
You better double it.
Take it or leave it.

250
00:09:29,383 --> 00:09:31,663
We'll take it.
Hello. We'll take it.

251
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,330
Star 69, we'll take it.

252
00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:37,156
Man, what are you doin', Shawn?

253
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,230
Relax, Marlon, trust me.

254
00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:41,496
I got them right
where I want 'em. Uh, man.

255
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,830
I'm telling you,
it's called playin' hard ball.

256
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,166
They always call back.

257
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,500
Well, I don't know about that.

258
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:51,120
Every time I say take it,
they leave it.

259
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:54,126
Whoa! I think you tellin' us

260
00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:55,996
a little bit
too much information, Dee.

261
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,170
Okay, leave.

262
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,160
But I'll take it anyway.

263
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,380
[telephone ringing]

264
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,250
- Alright, go ahead.
- Not gonna tell you no more.

265
00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,253
Just tell him I said hi.

266
00:10:05,283 --> 00:10:07,333
- Hello.
- Hi.

267
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,180
Franco? Yeah.
This is Shawn.

268
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:15,266
- Uh-huh, ten thousand.
- Ten thousand dollars, G.

269
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:20,330
Alright, great.
Fine. Alright, then.

270
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:22,130
Ten thousand dollars, Shawn?

271
00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:25,326
Shawn, they took it,
kid! They took it!

272
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,280
Ten G's!

273
00:10:26,316 --> 00:10:29,156
Oh..
Kid, they took it!

274
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:32,150
Actually, they left it.

275
00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,173
[upbeat music]

276
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,323
[upbeat music]

277
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,200
- Shawn, where's Marlon?
- I don't know, pop.

278
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:50,223
He's been avoiding me
ever since his audition.

279
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,160
I ain't never seen him
that upset.

280
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,120
Well, can't say I blame him.

281
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:55,370
Sound to me you were
so busy bein' an agent

282
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,380
you forgot what was best
for your brother.

283
00:10:58,383 --> 00:11:00,253
Yeah, I guess you're right.

284
00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:02,303
I tried to apologize,
but what else can I do?

285
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:07,003
Well, when your mama
and I fight, I apologize too.

286
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,500
But we never truly make up

287
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:12,500
until we have a passionate
night of lovemaking.

288
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:15,270
I'm talkin' about
incense burnin'.

289
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,830
Teddy Pendergrass
on the hi-fi.

290
00:11:19,116 --> 00:11:20,366
Fallin' out of bed
gettin' rug burns

291
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,100
on your booty
kinda lovemaking.

292
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:24,253
You know what I mean?

293
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:27,503
I'm talkin' about
bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

294
00:11:29,266 --> 00:11:30,346
Pops, come on, man.

295
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:34,003
I'm not suggesting you
do that with your brother.

296
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:36,120
- But you get my point.
- I get your point.

297
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:38,220
I gotta go set things
straight with Marlon.

298
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,660
I mean, I may have lost him
that first job, but you know what?

299
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,660
I'mma gettin' him another one,
just as good.

300
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,000
That's ma boy.

301
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,130
Now, where you goin'?

302
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,216
Goin' home to pick a fight
with your mama.

303
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,100
[upbeat music]

304
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:59,003
What's up, dawg?

305
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,300
Hey, kid. What you
doin' home so early?

306
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:05,223
I quit! They made me be
"Howie, the Hotlink."

307
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:08,003
You call this an acting gig?

308
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:10,500
Hey, look, man, I had
to make a lot of phone calls

309
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:11,370
to get you this gig, okay?

310
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,380
Do you know that Sidney
Poitier started off as a yam?

311
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,266
Shawn, I was standing
outside a restaurant

312
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:21,220
handing out flyers all
morning being chased by dogs.

313
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,170
And it was in the ghetto,
all Rottweilers and Pit bulls.

314
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:29,100
Now, peace out!

315
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:32,280
[sighs]

316
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:35,196
I wasn't gonna
tell you this but..

317
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:37,663
...I seen you out there.

318
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,130
And you were good, man.

319
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:43,096
I mean, you were the most juicy

320
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,233
succulent,
believable hotdog

321
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:47,296
I done ever seen in my life.

322
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,253
- Really?
- Oh, my God.

323
00:12:49,283 --> 00:12:51,133
Yeah, man.
You threw down!

324
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,366
Did you see the sauerkraut
I put on my arm?

325
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,270
- That was brilliant.
- You see the sauerkraut?

326
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,100
Yeah, I seen
the sauerkraut.

327
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,233
Alright. Hold on.
Was I kosher?

328
00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:00,656
What kinda frank am I?
Beef or pork?

329
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,100
- You are beef, man.
- Yes! Yes! Yes!

330
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:03,373
See I wanted to
put the relish up on

331
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,000
That was me. That was all
boogers, I put up in here.

332
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:09,230
Oh, that was-that was good, man!

333
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,156
- Oh, thanks.
- That was good!

334
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,160
- See, you a actor, man!
- Oh.

335
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,330
Wait, stop, stop, stop.

336
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,216
Come on,
quit playing with me, man.

337
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:18,300
This is bull,
and you know it.

338
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:21,153
Alright, look. It was the
best that I could do, Marlon.

339
00:13:21,183 --> 00:13:23,103
Yeah, well, your best sucks.

340
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:27,833
You call yourself an agent,
Shawn?

341
00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,116
You know what,
if you was really an agent

342
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:31,220
you would do anything
to get me that job.

343
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:33,150
Matter of fact, you was
my brother, you'd do anything

344
00:13:33,183 --> 00:13:34,253
to get me that job.

345
00:13:34,283 --> 00:13:37,333
[upbeat music]

346
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,383
Hey, Mr. Bertacelli.

347
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,350
Hey, um..

348
00:13:50,383 --> 00:13:53,303
- It's me, Shawn, remember?
- Yeah.

349
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,303
Look, I just came here

350
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:58,353
to basically beg
for Marlon's job back

351
00:13:58,383 --> 00:14:02,233
and, uh, to tell you that
I'm not really an agent.

352
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:04,116
No, really?

353
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,370
No, really. I'm actually,
I'm Marlon's brother.

354
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,830
But I don't think
you shouldn't punish him

355
00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:09,126
because I messed up.

356
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:10,366
Come on, Mr. Bertacelli, please.

357
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,370
I'll do anything..

358
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,100
...to get Marlon a job.

359
00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:17,833
- Hmm.
- Almost anything.

360
00:14:17,116 --> 00:14:19,246
Yeah. Get up, get up.

361
00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:22,283
Okay. My assistant quit
this morning and I need someone

362
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:25,196
to fill in that
position over the weekend.

363
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,103
Huh? That's-that's it?

364
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,123
That's it. Here.

365
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,370
You do a good job for me

366
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,380
and I will see to it that
your brother gets in the movie.

367
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,180
Oh, man.
Thank you, Mr. Bertacelli.

368
00:14:35,216 --> 00:14:36,376
- You ain't gonna regret it.
- Okay.

369
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,180
Listen, I was just on my
way out to lunch

370
00:14:38,216 --> 00:14:41,266
so now you can go
get me a-a hamburger.

371
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,380
Aye, no tomatoes, right?

372
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,200
No tomatoes?

373
00:14:47,233 --> 00:14:49,373
What makes you think
I don't like tomatoes?

374
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:54,370
You thought I said no tomatoes?
I said free Soweto.

375
00:14:56,216 --> 00:14:59,216
Ba-da-da-da.
Fight the power.

376
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,230
[upbeat music]

377
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,146
Please.

378
00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:12,003
Don't you take my brain.

379
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,280
[sobbing]

380
00:15:19,316 --> 00:15:21,296
Please, man!

381
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,133
Please!

382
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,146
Don't take my brain.

383
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:32,230
[groaning]
No. No.

384
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,316
Please.

385
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:41,330
Brain.

386
00:15:41,366 --> 00:15:44,096
And the award
for Best Supporting Extra

387
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:46,273
in a B movie
goes to Marlon Williams.

388
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,830
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

389
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,266
Yo, man, I see you
memorized your line.

390
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,660
[laughs]
I'm trying, baby boy.

391
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,350
Kid, look at this man.

392
00:15:55,383 --> 00:15:58,253
Your baby brother's
in a movie.

393
00:15:58,283 --> 00:16:00,333
- Thanks, Shawn.
- Hey.

394
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,350
- I appreciate it, black.
- No problem, baby.

395
00:16:01,383 --> 00:16:04,223
Hey, it's the least I
could do after what I did, man.

396
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:07,660
Hey, man, this might be
my big break, kid.

397
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,160
Who knows, I might be
the next Robert De Negro.

398
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,200
[imitating Robert De Niro]
You talkin' to me?

399
00:16:11,233 --> 00:16:12,353
- You talkin' to me?
- You talkin' to me?

400
00:16:12,383 --> 00:16:14,323
- You talkin' to me?
- You talkin' to me?

401
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:15,380
(Marlon)
'You talkin' to me?

402
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,220
[chuckles]

403
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,660
You know my eyesight
is a little bad.

404
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,280
Does this chair say
flunkey on it anywhere?

405
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:25,376
[chuckles]
That's very funny. You probably a comedi..

406
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,350
Oh, hey, hey,
Mr. Bertacelli.

407
00:16:27,383 --> 00:16:30,283
Hey. I'm sorry. I was just
warmin' up your chair.

408
00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:32,176
And-and look at this.
My hand's empty.

409
00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:34,156
Well, it's missing something,
something liquid

410
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,220
something hot, so are we
getting anything here?

411
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,250
Coffee.
I'm gonna get you that.

412
00:16:39,283 --> 00:16:43,173
Okay! Places everyone!

413
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,120
Now, in this scene

414
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:48,380
Dr. Zavius
is about to administer

415
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:54,000
a sedative and that's
before he removes the brain.

416
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,330
Ah-ah, great, great.

417
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,830
[spitting]

418
00:17:00,116 --> 00:17:01,366
What in the hell is this?

419
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,330
- It's coffee.
- Are you trying to kill me?

420
00:17:03,366 --> 00:17:05,366
I mean, how much sugar
did you put in here?

421
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,270
You're makin'
coffee, not Kool-Aid. Hmm.

422
00:17:11,383 --> 00:17:13,383
S-s-s.

423
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,230
Um, du, Franco,
can I have a minute?

424
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:18,166
- Uh, no.
- Okay.

425
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,380
Okay, everybody, ready

426
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,230
and roll cameras.

427
00:17:22,266 --> 00:17:23,246
'Slide it.'

428
00:17:23,283 --> 00:17:24,323
"Island Of Dr. Zavius"

429
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,320
scene forty-four, take one.

430
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,170
And, action!

431
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,373
Now, this won't hurt a bit.

432
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,320
Mind you,
when you wake in the morning

433
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:38,330
you may experience
a little long-term memory loss.

434
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,330
[evil laugh]

435
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:44,503
No! Please!

436
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,170
Don't take my train.

437
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,130
Cut! Cut! Cut!

438
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:51,276
Oka-a-ay, that's brain.

439
00:17:51,316 --> 00:17:53,246
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay?<i>Brain.</i>

440
00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:55,503
I'm sorry,
I just got a little nervous.

441
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:56,350
Right. And don't look
at the camera, alright?

442
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:58,833
Now we'll take it from the
top, and, Marlon

443
00:17:58,116 --> 00:17:59,326
I wanna see a little more fear.

444
00:17:59,366 --> 00:18:02,116
Okay. How's this?

445
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,350
Yeah, fine, fine, good.

446
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,153
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

447
00:18:06,183 --> 00:18:09,163
Styrofoam cup, man.
Come on.

448
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,370
Get with it.

449
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,220
Otherwise, I'm gonna have
to replace your brother.

450
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:15,370
Okay. O-okay.

451
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,350
Paper cup.
Coffee. Cream.

452
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:25,663
Okay. Roll cameras.

453
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,150
- 'Ready.'
- Slate it.

454
00:18:27,183 --> 00:18:29,373
"Island Of Dr. Ze-Za-Zanaviea.."

455
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,150
That's Zavius, you idiot.

456
00:18:32,183 --> 00:18:35,283
"Island Of Dr. Zavius,"
scene forty-four, take two.

457
00:18:35,316 --> 00:18:37,656
Hi, mom.

458
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,130
And..

459
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,196
[chanting in foreign language]

460
00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:41,223
Okay.

461
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,220
Action.

462
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,000
[dramatic music]

463
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:46,830
Now, this won't hurt a bit.

464
00:18:46,116 --> 00:18:48,826
Mind you,
when you wake up in the morning

465
00:18:48,116 --> 00:18:52,826
you may suffer a certain amount
of long-term memory loss.

466
00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:54,166
[evil laugh]

467
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:58,003
No!

468
00:18:58,330 --> 00:18:59,830
Please!

469
00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:02,496
Don't take my brain!

470
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:03,180
Not my dreams.

471
00:19:03,216 --> 00:19:04,276
Martin Luther King, I dream--

472
00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:07,346
Cut, cut.
Woah, woah, woah. Woah.

473
00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,153
What was all that?

474
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,283
Oh, I was improvising.
Just a little method acting.

475
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:16,996
Oh. Well, try this method.

476
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,130
Stick to the damn script!

477
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:20,296
Okay.

478
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,223
Now, where the hell's my tea?

479
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:25,000
- What?
- Damn..

480
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,660
Oh, I'm sorry,
I-I just had the silliest idea

481
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,370
that you wanted coffee.

482
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,100
Are-are are you a moron?

483
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:35,253
I mean, did Dr. Zavius
take<i>your</i>

484
00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:37,103
People, people.

485
00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:39,253
You're looking
at the laziest, stupidest

486
00:19:39,283 --> 00:19:42,123
most incompetent assistant
I have ever had, right here.

487
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:45,130
Yo, man, chill. Don't be
talkin' to my brother like that, man?

488
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:49,176
Are you talking to me
Mr. Easily Replaceable Actor?

489
00:19:49,216 --> 00:19:51,156
No. No, no, no,
he didn't say that.

490
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,130
See, I can throw
my voice. Look.

491
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,326
Uh, don't be talkin'
to my brother like that.

492
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,280
No, no, no, chill, Shawn.
Chill, man.

493
00:19:55,316 --> 00:19:57,266
I ain't gonna let
Martin Scorsese humiliate you.

494
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,320
Shoo, who do you think you are?

495
00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,180
Don't make me get ghetto
on you, what?

496
00:20:00,216 --> 00:20:02,216
You wanna get in it? We take
it to the streets, baby. What?

497
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,270
What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What?

498
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,330
What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What?

499
00:20:06,366 --> 00:20:08,296
- Hey, Marlon. Marlon.
- Get off me. Get off me.

500
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,503
- Chill, Marlon. Chill.
- Get off me. Get off me.

501
00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:12,180
No, don't,
don't get off me.

502
00:20:12,216 --> 00:20:14,146
Don't really get off me.
Don't really get off me.

503
00:20:14,183 --> 00:20:17,133
Get-get off me.

504
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:19,326
Incredible. Incredible.

505
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:21,180
That-that was very moving.

506
00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:22,326
I mean..

507
00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:26,496
My, you really
are a very good actor.

508
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,180
- Really?
- Yeah. But not in my movie.

509
00:20:28,216 --> 00:20:30,276
Now, get the hell off my set.
You're both fired.

510
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:34,500
Fine. Okay.
But you know what?

511
00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:36,160
My client signed the contract.

512
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,830
- So you're gonna be payin'
him. - What?

513
00:20:38,116 --> 00:20:41,326
You heard me,
Francis Ford Brokela.

514
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,176
I might not be a good agent

515
00:20:43,216 --> 00:20:45,246
but I know
when a deal is a deal.

516
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,376
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'll get paid.

517
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,130
Come on, don't be crazy.

518
00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:56,126
Kid, you did it.
Good lookin' out, baby boy.

519
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,366
You too, man.

520
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,220
Come on, agent.

521
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,350
Let's go home.

522
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:02,153
- Alright, man.
- Good stuff, baby.

523
00:21:02,183 --> 00:21:03,333
Hey, hey.
Wait a minute.

524
00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:05,196
I was reading
the trades the other day.

525
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:08,233
And they're looking for a
young, hip, energetic black guy

526
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:10,316
on Beverly Hills, 9-0-2-1-0.

527
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:13,130
- A burglar?
- Yeah.

528
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:15,266
Don't worry about it. We can go
pick up a ski mask on the way.

529
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,350
- Alright. Cool.
- Cool.

530
00:21:17,383 --> 00:21:20,163
[upbeat music]

531
00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:27,223
[indistinct]

532
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:33,280
What, you wanna get in this?
We take it to the streets, baby.

533
00:21:33,316 --> 00:21:36,156
What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What?

534
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:37,280
What? What? What? What?
What? What? What? What?

535
00:21:37,316 --> 00:21:39,176
- Hey ,Marlon. Marlon.
- Get off me. Get off me.

536
00:21:39,216 --> 00:21:41,226
- Chill-chill, Marlon.
Chill. - Get off me. Get off me.

537
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,146
Get off me. No, don't-don't
really get off me.

538
00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:45,173
Don't really get off me.
Don't really get off me.

539
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,150
Get-get off me.

540
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:50,833
Incredible. Incredible.

541
00:21:50,116 --> 00:21:52,146
That-that, that was very moving.

542
00:21:52,183 --> 00:21:53,323
I mean..

543
00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:57,830
My, you really are
a very good actor.

544
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:59,196
- Really?
- Yeah. But not in my movie.

545
00:21:59,233 --> 00:22:01,303
Now get the hell off my sets.
You're both fired.

546
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,273
<i>(Shawn)</i>
<i>Look up, Marlon, say</i> <i>"Cheese."</i>

547
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:07,873
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